8 Tips for Prioritizing Your Relationship in the New Year: Advice for Christian Couples

Are you feeling like your marriage has taken a backseat to the demands of daily life? It’s common for couples to struggle with finding time for each other, but doing so is a crucial component of prioritizing your relationship. If you’re ready to make a commitment to strengthening your bond with your spouse in 2023, check out these tips for carving out that much-needed time together.

8 Things You Can Do to Prioritize Your Relationship:

1. Schedule Regular Date Nights (or Mornings or Afternoons).

You knew this was coming. Nevertheless, make a goal to set aside regular time for one-on-one conversations and activities with your spouse. This could be a weekly date night, but it might just be a regular time each week on the couch or in the car to catch up and connect with each other. It does not have to be extravagant, and the less extravagant it is the more likely you will be to do it. “Regular” also does not mean “weekly,” though it could. Even if it is only once a month, have a regular time you can both look forward to and count on to invest in your marriage.

2. Take Advantage of What Free Time You Have.

Utilize your free time wisely by seeking out opportunities to spend quality time together, whether it’s an overnight getaway or a short walk in the neighborhood. For those of you with young children at home, “free time” is that rare and elusive creature that only comes out at night when the kids are asleep. Somewhere in the midst of vegging out in front of a screen, set aside a little time to reconnect with your spouse.

3. Think Outside the Box.

Don’t be afraid to get creative and try new ways of spending time together. Taking a walk together or trying a new hobby are relatively obvious, but don’t overlook routine and unglamorous activities such as folding laundry, running errands, or washing dishes together. You might also think about serving your church together or strategizing about ways to bless the people around you with random acts of kindness.

4. Embrace Quality Time When You Don’t Have Quantity.

While quality time usually comes in the midst of quantity time, you can have quality time without quantity. When you can’t get quantity time, focus on making the most of the time you do have together. You could have more meaningful conversations by moving intentionally through the mundane to the issues of the heart. Or if that feels like too tall an order, you could make the most of the time by simply putting away distractions so you can be present and attentive to each other. Don’t let resentment over the lack of quantity time you have together rob you of enjoying quality time when you are together.

5. Let Your Daily Routine Work for You.

Look for ways to incorporate small moments of connection into your daily routine. Sharing a morning coffee together or taking a walk after dinner are two easy possibilities for many couples. Every evening a couple in my neighborhood is out on a walk together at exactly the same time. They have found a way to let their daily routine work for them and give them a regular time to reconnect. Your age and stage of life will be a huge factor in your daily routine, but any routine can be made to work for you. In your household, connection points may be right after getting into bed, during a morning exercise routine, or on a phone call over your lunch break.

6. Seek Support from Your Community.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help from your friends, family, or church community if you’re struggling to make time for each other. They can provide support and encouragement, and may even be able to help with childcare or other responsibilities so you can have more time together as a couple. Offering to exchange childcare for others will likely open up more opportunities for you and also help strengthen other marriages…a win-win!

7. Set Boundaries.

Without any boundaries, outside commitments or distractions will absolutely get in the way of your time together. Consider what boundaries you need to set in order to protect your time as a couple. It may be allowing the kids to only be in one or two activities (or only in the same activities) so you and your spouse not going separate directions each evening. It may be limiting volunteer hours for a season or coming to an agreement that work must stop at a certain time each day. It may be limiting the use of electronics to specific times and places so they are not a constant distraction. To say “yes” to each other on any regular basis will require saying “no” to some other things.

8. Pray Together About Your Marriage.

Praying together is a simple but powerful way to prioritize your spouse and nurture your relationship. It can help you align your hearts and minds on important decisions and goals for your marriage, and doing so will remind you that your marriage is about more than just you. Even more than that, prayer is God’s appointed means for us to pour out our hearts to him and to seek his help. If prioritizing your marriage is important to you, start by bringing your desire to your Father in heaven who loves you and put this desire in your heart.

Making time for each other in your marriage requires effort and intentionality, but it’s a crucial component for the overall health and happiness of your relationship. And your relationship is worth it. Here’s to a wonderful and fulfilling New Year for you and your spouse!